Death is something that I’ve become more acutely aware of in recent years. It started with the anime Death Note instilling the fear of a random, spontaneous death in me. Disney and Pixar’s incredible movie Coco elevated this fear to an existential level as I grappled with the terrifying thought of truly being gone because there was nothing to remember me after death. And now my latest playthrough of Cyberpunk 2077 put me on a collision course with my fears as it made me ruminate on the concept of legacy.
Cyberpunk is a game about many things, with one such topic being how one deals with mortality. From start to finish, it asks two questions: in an unforgiving world, how do you want to be remembered once you’ve passed away and how will you live your life knowing it could happen at any moment? These questions are ingrained in the hearts and minds of Night City’s residents as they try to rise above its uncompromising nature and prove to the world and themselves in some way, shape, or form, that not only are they here, but they matter. They’re what motivated V to be part of the big leagues in Night City, and unfortunately resulted in V contracting the terminal condition that drastically shortened their lifespan.
The questions that Cyberpunk asks are ones that I’ve also considered over the years thanks to Death Note and Coco, but where this playthrough differs from my time watching that series and movie is the interactive element that’s unique to video games. Of course, it’s possible to connect to a concept on a deep level when watching it play out in film or television, but living it out in a game is a more powerful, intimate, and reflective experience.
Once my V knew his life would be coming to an end and began seriously grappling with these questions, he aimed to achieve his dreams of being a big name in Night City, but not by any means necessary. He wanted to be known as a person who was honorable and had morals. He wanted to be remembered as a skilled mercenary who always got the job done, and even though he’d deal out appropriate justice when necessary, he wasn’t a cold-blooded killer. He hoped that he’d be thought of as a truly kind-hearted person who had no problem getting serious and violent when the situation called for it. More than all that, my V wanted to be seen as a reliable friend who always had your back and your best interests in mind.
With V, I built a legacy that would persist once he passed and make him someone that people would remember fondly for years to come. Watching all the holo recordings that his friends left for him once he departed Night City with Panam and the Aldecaldos hit hard as everyone updated him on their lives and the impact that he made on them. In this sleek and shiny “city of dreams” that’s always pushing to keep its residents down and snuff out their light, V mattered and his actions ensured that he’d never be forgotten. I often wonder what people will say about me and my impact when I’m gone, so these messages struck a bittersweet chord in me.
I’ve always been afraid of death, but it was a concept that seemed so far away from me that I didn’t think much about it. Even after having my fears heightened in my early 20s after seeing Death Note and Coco, I lived life as if death was something I wouldn’t have to worry about until I was in my 40s at the earliest. Thanks to Father Time aging me and COVID ravaging the world, my mindset evolved and my perspective on the matter quickly came into focus. Since then, everything I’ve done has been in service of trying to live as meaningful a life as I possibly can.
So I return to the questions that Cyberpunk 2077 poses. How do I want to be remembered once I’ve passed away and how will I live my life knowing it could happen at any moment?
I want to be remembered as someone talented, ambitious, kind, loving, intelligent, and creative. I want to be remembered as someone who was deeply passionate about the games industry and strove to make the space a more positive and level-headed one than it currently is today. I want to be remembered as someone who lived and breathed anything and everything Kingdom Hearts. I want to be remembered as someone who was very introverted but loved talking about his favorite musicians and anime. I want to be remembered as someone who cared so much for his friends and family, even if he may not have shown it all the time.
Ultimately, I want to leave some sort of positive mark behind on the people and communities that matter to me. Something that will outlast me, proving that I was here and brought value to the world. It might sound selfish, but that’s part of why I did the Play To Win Podcast back in 2021 and a major part of why I decided to make a YouTube channel for TheComfySpot. That’s why I spent a year sharing my love for my favorite franchise of all time with Revisiting Kingdom Hearts. It’s why I’m trying to spend more time with the people that are closest to me.
One day I’m going to die. For all I know it could be tomorrow. Once it happens, I know that eventually I’ll be forgotten. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but I’ve slowly come to terms with it. Unless you’re a person of significant cultural and societal influence, there’s no way you’ll be remembered forever. But that doesn’t mean I can’t try. So until that time comes, I’ll use every day I have to build the long-lasting legacy that I want for myself. And hopefully, decades after I’m gone, people will remember that guy named Tyler who loved so much and tried every single day to be the best version of himself that he could be.
TheComfySpot 